


I Don't Know What We're Afraid Of

by Joanne_c



Category: Smash (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 00:31:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13042770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joanne_c/pseuds/Joanne_c
Summary: After Kyle recovers from a minor accident, Jimmy knows he can't let him go. He needs him in ways he never knew, and they take the leap into a relationship. A slow leap.





	I Don't Know What We're Afraid Of

**Author's Note:**

  * For [novelized](https://archiveofourown.org/users/novelized/gifts).



It doesn’t matter. The words pulse through Jimmy’s mind. This man, the one touching him. The one he’s been falling for without even knowing it, he’s all that matters.

“What are you thinking?” Kyle murmurs against his neck.

“How easy this is,” Jimmy answers, it’s true, and he feels the words he was thinking weren’t what someone would say in bed. Well, he might have in the past, to put off a girl who would get too close, but this is different, it’s Kyle.

“I’m so glad you agreed to try,” Kyle looks up as he unbuttons Jimmy’s shirt. “I thought it was all over when you said you couldn’t.”

“I don’t know what this is, just that I know I almost lost you,” Jimmy murmurs, and it feels so good when Kyle touches his skin. He’s still feeling the anxiety that started when he heard about the accident, that it could have been so much more serious than a few minor injuries. He thrusts it from his mind. That’s not for now. That’s for a late night he can wake up and find himself holding Kyle and breathe with relief that he’s with him. Or even for turning into a song, one Kyle will know is about this. They’ll pretend it isn’t and he’ll get kissed more quietly, stroked more gently on the night he first shows it to Kyle. But there’s so much else to think about now, he can’t really focus on the future when the present is so amazing.

“I know it’s a lot of changes. You’re thinking of yourself in a completely new way,” Kyle blows soft air over Jimmy’s chest. “But trust me, it’s a good way.”

“A way I never even expected,” Jimmy sighs. He had never thought of this. Rejected Kyle too long ago to count the years, though he knows just how long ago it was. But almost losing him has made him realize that there are worse things than seeing if this might work. Things like waiting in the hospital to hear if he’s okay. Things like Karen knowing more than he does and giving him the talk that has, in the end, led them here. “There’s so much to think about,” slips out, he doesn’t mean it to.

“Think about it tomorrow,” Kyle says. “Just think about us, tonight, trying this together,” and his hands are on Jimmy’s belt. It’s not so difficult to help him, and Jimmy can’t help liking the impressed gasp once he’s naked.

“Well, I hope it fits,” Kyle teases. His hand wraps around Jimmy’s cock, which is stiffening under his touch.

“You... you want me to...” Jimmy isn’t sure if its surprise or arousal making him stutter. Probably both. It’s definitely a sexy image, but he wasn’t quite expecting to fuck Kyle their first time. Not that he had expected a first time with Kyle before that time a little over a week ago, and he hasn’t been thinking about how, because for him it’s about why, and what he wants.

But he’s thinking of how right now. He’s not sure if he can, but he doesn’t want to let Kyle down, either.

“Eventually,” Kyle says. “I was talking about my mouth,” he swallows the head down, his tongue teasing Jimmy’s slit.

“Oh god, Kyle, I never knew...” Jimmy’s hips move with the teasing motions of Kyle’s tongue. This he’s used to, admittedly, but Kyle is so… so worshipful. So slow and gentle, but not too much of either. He’s perfect, and Jimmy says that, he’s pretty sure. More nonsense babbles from his lips until he goes silent, then lets out a carnal moan as he comes.

Kyle looks up and smiles at him. “Did you like it?” he asks. Jimmy wonders how he ever thought he knew all of Kyle’s expressions. Then he thinks of how many new expressions they’re going to discover, and there’s a sense of familiarity along with the anticipation that makes him happier than he’s ever been.

“I think you already know,” Jimmy smiles. “But yes. Very much. More than anyone ever before. Ever.”

“Enough to maybe help me out?” Kyle rolls over to show his hard cock. “I mean... with your hand, I’m not expecting more right now.”

Jimmy’s just looking at it for a moment. Hard. Dripping. He’s seen Kyle hard before, usually accidentally when he walks in on him in the bathroom. It’s different now. Looking at his cock, Jimmy considers. He could do more. He wants to. But he needs a little more experience before he does that. “Of course I will,” he says instead of anything else running through his head. Jimmy draws Kyle close to him and kisses him, frowning a little as he tastes himself, but he doesn’t stop. One hand moves down to encircle Kyle’s cock, and he strokes, tentative at first, then more firmly. He gets some whispered encouragement and direction from Kyle, and soon he’s swallowing Kyle’s moans. They’re possibly the hottest thing he’s ever heard, and that includes that dancer who said how flexible she was before she showed him in great detail.

Jimmy licks his hand clean, Kyle being more to his taste than himself, and he holds him close, letting his eyes drift closed. He knows Kyle needs his rest, and honestly? He’s wiped. It’s good, but sex has always exhausted him. He also knows some of the exhaustion is emotional, it’s a big change in his life and how he sees himself. But he can do anything with Kyle by his side.

Jimmy knows there’s more to it. Even if he is in the most gay-friendly business in the world, or at least one of them. There’s a lot more to it. Admitting he has a boyfriend is a big one. That’s the moment he knows he’s in this for the long haul. It isn’t like he didn’t already, but this is the moment that the realization hits him.

“Stop thinking so loudly,” Kyle murmurs to him. “I know it’s a lot to think about, but I need some rest. We can talk about it tomorrow. Figure out what we’re going to tell the world. It’s not like there aren’t a few people who think it’s already going on, even with your reputation,” he adds, kissing Jimmy’s nose.

“True, we can think about the world tomorrow,” Jimmy agrees, and he closes his eyes. There’s more to the world, and Kyle knows it as well as he does, but it’s okay. It really is.

Because right now, the world consists only of the two of them, of Kyle’s warmth against him, and he thinks he could stay like this forever.


End file.
